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"Saint Jess Interview"
SAINT JESS INTERVIEW by Minister for all things rocking! 20th August 2005 Yesterday I spoke to the up-and-coming Saint Jess, who had agreed to an exclusive interview with the Guardian Angel. She is a very nice girl who I am sure will go far with with or without a sainthood. Here's what she had to say to me. Minister for all things rocking! says: I'm here with Jess who is looking to become the first patron saint of this unnamed country. So tell me, Jess, what makes you the best person for the job? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: Well! For a long time now I have been a saint without a country and this fine example of one seemed to fit the bill! I also think I would be rather good at slaying dragons, if the need arose! Minister for all things rocking! says: There have been many calls for the saint to be dead, as other saints are. Would you be willing to die for your cause? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: Of course I would! But as I said to the other doubters, what use is a dead saint? They can't save you from the oncoming onslaught of a dragon! Minister for all things rocking! says: Also most saints have performed miracles and helped people in need. Can you give some examples of miracles you have performed and how they came about? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: Well! I do do the odd miracle if the opportunity arises! I only appeared in a vision of a clown in Bangkok just yesterday in fact! However, I would say that the miracles are mainly the messiah department! Talk to Jesus about miracles! Minister for all things rocking! says: So are you a supporter of Jesus and his religion? What religion are you? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: Well, I myself am a Christian! However, I don't attatch my Saint-hood to any particular religion as I feel that the joining together of faiths through my sainthood makes me an un-stoppable force in the saintly world. I have even been dubbed "SuperSaint" for this accumulation of power! Minister for all things rocking! says: You plan to unite the country through a common faith led by yourself. Just how many followers do you currently have? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: Yes that is correct! Well! I have over 200 posts on my message board; however, about half of them are me thanking the new supporters, and a fair few are from my biggest fans, NiceViking and Citizen Rebecca (who wrote a poem for me), so I' say I had around 80! Minister for all things rocking! says: Do you accept everyone, like the country itself, or is it exclusive? What do you have to do to become a follower? Or are they more than followers - more like disciples? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: I accept anyone! I need all the backing I can get! To become a follower you merely post a message on my board! In return I write them a nice reply denoting how happy they have made me for joining! They are more than followers, they are friends! I have a deep love for every last one of them! Minister for all things rocking! says: With so many followers, then, have you hears anything from King Danny himself? Are you going to try to become official, or is the support of the people enough for someone as good-natured as yourself? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: Well, the support of the masses obviously means the world to me! I oft do a happy dance when I see another lovely person support me! However, the followers long for me to become official, so as of an hour ago, a letter asking for recognition from our gracious King was sent! I want his apporval as I would like Saint Jess' Day to become a national holiday! Minister for all things rocking! says: So will you be phoning in on Citizen TV next week? Are there any other saints in our country, or are you the only one? Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: I will most definitely be phoning in! I feel this is the only direct line to King Danny I can forge. Oh I have tried appearing to him, but he always seems somewhat preoccupied with Kingly duties when I try! Therefore, I feel you mortals' telephones are the most reliable option! I regret to inform you that yes, there is one other saint, who is indeed after the role of our patron saint! However, I believe them to have less backing than I, so it would seem our fellow citizens believe me better equipped for the job! Minister for all things rocking! says: Well thank you very much, I wish you the best of luck with your no-doubt-impending Sainthood and give you my full support. It's been a pleasure. Saint Jess (Patron Saint of an as yet un-named country) says: The pleasure has been all mine! I can assure you! I have not felt this honoured since I was canonized! Thank you for the support! It is most appreciated! Thanks again! Saint Jess' thread can be found here. ---- Return to The Guardian Angel